the end....

i thought this day would never come. the day i'd give up and no longer try. i guess its time i realize a lost cause and cut my losses. i feel so wasted! it was like looking in the mirror.... identical yet worlds apart. only MY spitten image could be so self righteous as to see myself as inadequate. i should have known.... or better yet did and failed to heed the signs.


the end is very difficult to determine when you're going nowhere at a high rate of speed.


....ttyl

parental discretion IS advised....

here we fucking go! so i started this sales job for what i know now to be a fucking bullshit, mickey mouse corporation. those motherfuckers hired me, made me go through with a three day training session out of town, then one week after training, fired me for absolutely no reason whatsoever!!!

i am by far overqualified for the position. my level of sales expertise and customer service is phenomenal and they did themselves a disfavor by not considering me an asset to the franchise.
im not gonna sit here and type a bunch of senseless lies for you to read, so ill tell you. selling phones was NOT my cup o' tea, but i do in fact consider myself a professional and treated my job as such. their impersonal and unethical way of discharging me left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

"you're wasting my mothafuckin' time.... im the best thing since Sprite mixed the lemon with a lime!!!"

a new leaf....

thats right... i said "a new leaf". at least thats what i hope i've turned. you see, i have been known for being a bit of a nonconformist, deviant, maverick, lone wolf..... ehh you get the idea! anywho, ever since my latest financial drought, i began to ponder what life would be like "if i only ____". i.e. saved money, set goals, worn a condom.... okay, the last one was just for shits but you know what i mean. so now i'm making the effort to be a responsible, upstanding citizen and you know what, that shit is stressful!!! i mean the way i see it, which is usually a sick and twisted form of reality, i like money as much as the next guy if not more but its kinda depressing thinking about what you have to do in order to obtain valuables just to be back where you were.... broke and wanting something else! now don't get it twisted, i'm not saying nothing is worth the effort, i'm referring to my being impulsive and how it needs to stop. like i said, i've had plenty of time to think about where i went wrong and hindsight is 20/20. so looking back made me realize that i'd reached financial stability and success that many people twice my age envied, but my impulsive splurging and want for more made me belittle my own accomplishments making it easier to piss away what i did have!!

monday i start a new profession and i think i have a pretty good idea of how i'm gonna handle myself.

i'll still be me but version 2.0.

not on duty.... not on duty!!!!

so today was my first day at work. for those of you who don't know, i was recently hired at "Firkin & Hound". its an english pub..... that means drunken restaurant. there i play the role of busboy..... which means waiter's bitch!!! not that i hold any animosity towards the position its just i call a spade a spade. everybody that i worked with today were generally nice, but i had the pleasure of being Marc's understudy. Marc is a twentysomething year old guy who had the luck of being hired as the sole morning busboy, now he got promoted to head busboy and has me to alternate days with. its a rather tedious job consisting of mindless tasks such as wiping down tables and getting refills for customers. aside from "TATE" the bartender, marc and i are the only males to work outside of the kitchen and face the customers. the waiting staff consists of overly made up young women whom, aside from professional reasons, i have no desire to communicate with whatsoever. it just seems like talking with any of them will open the proverbial "can of worms"..... i figure the less they know about me the better. although it seems people are very interested in the "girlfriend/wife" factor. i was asked whether or not i had one before i was even asked my age. all my attempts to bypass the question with expressions of disinterest and indifference, were replied with "so is that a yes or a no?"

all i know is that i know better than to mix my personal and business life. in the words of "DAYDAY" top flight security of the world...... "Not on duty...... Not on duty!!!!